I was really upset when I thought I was being dismissed during a work meeting. I had my virtual hand raised but wasn’t called on to speak. Everyone else who raised their hand was given time to share and ask questions.
I made that mean that the moderator didn’t like me. I even went as far as to say that she didn’t pick me because my name was unique and maybe hard to pronounce.
I recognized that I didn’t want to stay stuck in my own thoughts and needed help. I reached out to my coach and during the session I had a revelation.
When things don’t go as planned, I point the finger to myself first.
Why am I so quick to put myself in a blender?
Interesting because I’ve done years of coaching and this still happens at times. Less frequent and I’m able to recognize it quicker but I’m human and will of course have human emotions.
What does being in the blender look like?
Replaying the event in your head.
Overthinking multiple angles.
Thinking you could have done something different.
Assuming something has gone wrong.
After the fact, I was able to share and get support with the group and received an even bigger more positive supportive response than I would have at the live event.
Of course I thought I was the problem. I’ve been thinking like this for over four decades. It’s almost subconscious AND I don’t have to stay there longer than I want.
Acknowledge, Accept, Process Feelings and then Release!!
This is the process I use for myself and my clients.
When we judge and criticize ourselves, the emotions just get magnified.
My coach was right. Why do I do this? Because I’m used to it.
But do I want to continue doing this? NOPE.
Thanks to coaching I have the tools.
Believe it or not, the best coaches have a coach and experience all the same things. We just have tools that set in quicker with practice.
No matter how much work you do on you, when you’re in it, it’s hard to see your own stuff.
For what instances do you put yourself in a bender?
Want to learn how to do it less?
Reach out to see if I can help you.
What will it cost you……..1 hour of your own time. That’s it!
But what could you gain?
Peace of mind and inner freedom.