FREE TRAINING: How to stop caring what the aunties think

Ever heard of the spaghetti waffles theory???

Dr. Payal Patel Ghayal is Certified Life and Parent Coach for women physicians and an Integrative Pediatrician. She helps women to start advocating for themselves, and experience greater fulfillment and happiness.

A friend once mentioned it to me and I never forgot it. I was probably complaining about my husband at that time. 😂

Well yesterday I was coaching one of my clients and a similar topic came up. I felt that it was the perfect time to share the analogy.

So here it goes….

Men’s brains are like waffles, completely compartmentalized. Nothing bleeds into another compartment, no matter what is happening in the moment.

Women’s brains are like spaghetti, entirely interconnected. Since everything connects it makes us great at multitasking.

So imagine this scenario…….

You get into a fight with your husband in the morning about something ( ex- childcare, domestic duties, or finances).

You both go to work.

He turns on his favorite sports podcast on the way, sees all his patients and finishes his charts with a hour lunch break. Makes it home on time of course.

You get in the car and call your BFF to rehash the whole story because you feel triggered. Then you get to work and run the conversation in the back of your head while you see patients. You’re probably running behind a little because you’re taking a little longer to finish charts while you process your feelings. Maybe you even check your phone to see if he messaged? Maybe you talk to a colleague or friend about how to move forward tonight when you see him.

You both get home and he’s had a pretty decent day. Never thought of the argument. You on the other hand are exhausted- mentally and emotionally.

Neither person is wrong or bad, just different.

When we understand this about how both our minds work, we reduce our own suffering and stop blaming others.

This theory originated from a book called Men are like Waffles, Women are like Spaghetti by Bill and Pam Farrel.

When my client understood that trying to change someone was only going to make her feel angry and frustrated, she told me getting coached on this topic made her feel light and free. Of course, It doesn’t take away discomfort but helps ease it and allows us to process instead of suffer.

When’s the last time you recall wanting someone else to be different so you wouldn’t feel anxious, frustrated, irritated, angry or sad?

How did that feel?

Of course it didn’t feel good.You felt like it was happening to you and you had no control.

What if you could take control of your own emotions by managing your own thoughts without trying to change others?

How would that feel? You probably don’t know yet, but we can definitely explore how.

I’d love to hear from you! Where are you struggling? Where do you feel life is out of control? How do you really want to feel?

I gave you a ton to think about.

Please reach out when you’re ready to talk.

Remember, you do have access to a free 60 min consultation when you’re ready.

It was life changing for me to live in this truth and my clients can definitely agree it’s been changing all of their relationships.


Payal 💗


Hey, if you’re ready to advocate for yourself and listen to your inner voice so you can live in freedom, wake up everyday with purpose and enjoy your work and family.

Check out my program here for more information on my 1:1 coaching.

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